Such such were the joys and other essays
of collapse. That kind of thing is at an end, admittedly. You've never been to Scotland. Repeatedly Orwell describes the society of the school from which he is outcast: That bump on the hard mattress, on the first night of term, used to give me a feeling of abrupt awakening, a feeling of: This is reality, this is what you are. But this sense of guilt and inevitable failure was balanced by something else: that is, the instinct to survive. One was called playing at doctors, and I remember getting a faint but definitely pleasant thrill from holding a toy trumpet, which was supposed to be a stethoscope, against a little girl's belly. As the author describes his childhood situation, "I knew that bed-wetting was a)wicked and b)outside my control" (5). I had had time to realize that what I did was wrong, but it was the kind of crime from which you could get some satisfaction.
And I don't suppose you'll get on awfully well at a public school either. I too had done the dreadful thing, whatever it was, that wrecked you for life, body and soul, and ended in suicide or the lunatic asylum. I was not a good type of boy and could bring no credit on the school. By the social standards that prevailed about me, I was no good, and could not be any good.
Orwell's my best friend essay in english 10 lines childhood understanding of society forces him into only one possible direction, failure. My situation was that of countless other boys, and if potentially I was more of a rebel than most, it was only because, by boyish standards, I was a poorer specimen. You talk of your motor-car engines, your Rolls-Royces and Dainlers and. He was a big, powerful, coarsely handsome boy with a very red face and curly black hair, who was forever twisting somebody's arm, wringing somebody's ear, flogging somebody with a riding-crop (he was a member of the Sixth Form or performing prodigies of activity. This reality is Crossgates, an educational institution but also a primary residence, the "home" Orwell lives in on a daily basis for a number of years. Again, until after I had left school for good I continued to believe that I was preternaturally ugly.